(Warning: Freaking long post cox I couldn’t stop myself from having so much to say.)
My student got really curious today and asked me lots of questions, especially after he found out that I studied in Singapore for a long time before finishing high school in Canada. For Koreans, it’s like they cannot accept that I learnt English in Singapore, but rather, that my English is good only because I studied overseas -_- I don’t remember my English being crappy when I was in Singapore!
So anyway, he asked me this:
“How has your Canadian education changed you?”
I was going to give him a light-hearted answer when it hit me – gosh, it changed my LIFE. My ENTIRE LIFE. Of course, not only because I met Jay, but also, more importantly, the Canadian education system. No, correction - how much I suffered in the Singapore education system and how the Canadian one changed me.
When I was in Crescent Girls’ School (and mind you, they are one of the top girls’ school in Singapore!), and while I am proud to be an ex-Crescentian, I did VERY badly there. Okay, that was an understatement – I was infamous. At the end of my Crescentian life, the first thing the principal did when our O Level results were released was to check mine, just to see if I pulled down the school’s average.
But I wasn’t always so bad! I mean, in primary school, I was in EM1! I used to study hard cox my mom was really strict with me, and I was the typical, obedient Asian kid till I was 10 – I woke up one day and discovered that I had my own brain.
Anyway, I entered Crescent with high hopes for that new chapter of life. BUT, horror of horrors, my mom decided I needed a haircut before school started, AND the hairdresser decided to cut practically everything off, leaving a short, boyish crop which she claimed looked very refreshing. I thought I agreed with her. That is, until I started school and suddenly everyone thought I was a lesbian. I didn’t think much of it (I thought it was pretty funny), but teachers immediately branded me a criminal because no butches were good students.
It made me really angry cox I was being singled out, and I think I was just being a really normal student. I never left my shirt untucked, I forgot to pin my school badge and nametag at times (Who doesn’t?!), I don’t hand in the occasional homework (Like I said, who doesn’t?!), I was rarely late (I admit that wasn’t the case during my years in upper secondary but I got too rebellious at that point), I was never rude to teachers, and I never got into a fight (I believe I didn’t get into one!). See, I was just being a normal student! Even Isabel once asked me, why do teachers consider you a bad student when you actually don’t break much of the school rules?
To make matters worse, I was being picked on for the most ridiculous things.
(1) Ms. Chia caught me for wearing a gray sportsbra (when other students were like wearing PINK, BLACK, POLKA DOTS) when we’re supposed to be wearing skin-coloured bras.
Ms. Chia: I’M GOING TO CALL YOUR PARENTS!
Me: (secretly sniggering) They went for a holiday.
She didn’t believe me. She called their cells, but it was switched off.
Ms. Chia (you could see she was so mad that she couldn’t get me into trouble! She started huffing!) I’m… I’m… I’M GOING TO CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER!
WTF?! Can you imagine how bewildered my granny was when she picked up the phone and heard this crazy woman screaming, “YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER IS WEARING THE WRONG BRA COLOUR!”
(2) I was caught for wearing lipstick! I swear I totally wasn’t wearing one, but seriously, THINK! If the image I had was already a BUTCH, why would a GUY-WANNABE wear lipstick?! It makes no sense! But of course, it never occured to them, and soon I was surrounded by 3 teachers who debated about it but let me go. 10 steps later, another teacher accosted me and demanded that I remove my lipstick. -_-
(3) I took a ribbon off a wall and was promptly suspended from class for 1 week. Why? It was considered vandalism and stealing of school property.
(4) My answers for an English mock test were so good, I got suspended for cheating. Apparently the school took the test from Nanyang Girls’ High, and my answers were the same as the answer sheet. The teachers were convinced that I somehow stole the answer sheet/magically obtained the test and answer from one of the girls studying there. I remember one of them saying, “There’s no way you can write that.” Well, thank you for trying to convince me that I’m stupid.
(5) My answers for a particular history test were the same as this “good” girl from a “good” class (I was really close with her back then and we compared answers after the test ended), but for some mysterious reason, I scored A LOT lower than her.
Looking back, it was no wonder I hated my school life. One teacher even begged me not to take her class the next year. I hated school so much that during my last year, I would only be in school for the full time-table schedule for like, 1 or 2 days a week. The rest of them, I would either not show up, or I would be so late on purpose that I miss out half a day, or I would just disappear from school the later half of the day. My grades were all F9, except for English, which was like probably a B4 or C5. Or C6. Well, Azlin couldn’t fail me because, well, she can’t! Yet deep inside me, I knew – I knew all those results weren’t my real results. Those F9s, and B4/C5/C6, not forgetting my 42 points for prelims, only reflected the teachers’ prejudice against me.
And you know what? My O Levels proved me right. 19 points. A1 for English. Okay 19 isn’t anything to shout about, but hey, I was so disheartened with everything that I just couldn’t study. Even though it proved that the teachers I had were just biased, it did nothing for my life. I couldn’t get into a JC; I couldn’t get into the course I wanted in poly.
Basically I was branded as a problem child from Day One and outcasted. Had I continue staying in Singapore, I would have been lost, becoming one of the many plodders in life, just walking and walking, with no direction of where to go or what to do. My future would have been bleak, and oh, I would also probably be with some loser of a guy (I tend to attract them a lot, i.e. my ex-es, NOT Jay!) who would make my life worse by being a complete jerk.
BUT! I was packed and flown to Canada, and… TA-DAH!
1. ALL MY TEACHERS LOVE ME!
2. I’M A GENIUS IN ALL OF MY CLASSES (except for math, but that’s okay. I was never good at it anyway, so thank god for Jay :D)
3. 97, 96, 95, 91, 90 (I really don’t want to mention my math score cox it breaks the 90-something pattern here) IS PROOF OF MY INTELLIGENCE!
4. MY AVERAGE OF 91 IS 6 POINTS ABOVE OXFORD’S UNIVERSITY CUT-OFF ENTRANCE POINT!
5. MY FUTURE IS SO BRIGHT, IT’S BLINDING ME!
It’s impossible that I just flew there and abracadabra, changed into a new person. It was the POSITIVE environment. Teachers didn’t form opinions of you and penalised you just because you looked this way, acted this way. They were fair, honest, and encouraged dialogue between students and teachers. I BLOSSOMED under them.
(I know I was being really childish, thinking like if a teacher hates me, why should I like him/her and I shall hate that subject the teacher’s teaching too kinda thing, but hey, I wasn’t exactly an adult back then either.)
Every encouragement they gave me, every positive remark they wrote on my homework/projects/tests, every high score I got, it made me greedy – I wanted more, more, and MORE! I came to expect only the best from myself (although many a times, I couldn’t do my best cox I took on too many subjects at one go ^^;;), and it reached a point where one of my classmates who worked with me on a group project actually branded me as a PERFECTIONIST. I think the teachers I had in Crescent would die choking on their laughter if they heard him. The teachers I had in Canada were the coolest people I’ve ever met; they were my role models, I valued their opinions, AND I wanted to be just like them! Suddenly I wanted to major in Economics, Psychology, Sociology, Business, English! Suddenly education seemed so fun and exciting! Suddenly it felt like I am capable of being a somebody!
Seriously, what if my parents were so freaking poor they had no money to even feed me, let alone send me overseas to study? What now, money defines education? I recently got scouted to work in this Korean MNC by its VP after graduation (which is like years later!), and it’s sad to say that I can only attribute Canada’s education system to my success (I know I haven’t really gone on to society, but hey, getting scouted even before you joined the working force is a feat okay!) even though I spent most of my growing years in Singapore.
And no, I don’t think like, 外国的月亮比较圆. I love Singapore, I’m proud of Singapore, and I think Singapore has come a long way since our pre-1819 days. Maybe Singapore’s education system changed, maybe there are better teachers now… who knows? Still, all I know is, they nearly ruined my entire life, if not for my mom’s decision. I can look back now and laugh at the stupid things, but what if I couldn’t get out of the system? What if there are more people like me still stuck in Singapore, unable to break out?
All in all, I’m glad I went to Crescent, because I met 3 girls who still stand by me (and that one girl who changed my outlook on life + beliefs) :D
